MAGIC HOUR

Once a year during New Year holidays, I write a blog that has nothing to do with travel. I am trying to gain writing skills which do not rely on travel, but a good sense of writing is not something I can win in the end-of-year lottery, so I have not come to the fruition. In the end, it will be difficult to spread my wing away from being a travel blogger next year.

At the beginning of this year, I wrote “there is no night that never finds a day” in a quote from Japanese translation of Shakespeare’s “the night is long that never finds the day”. I had been feeling unwell for about a month since I caught a cold in early December of last year. At the time, it was diagnosed as an ordinary cold. However, some of my friends in medical field said that it might have been influenza and the diagnostic kit just didn’t react due to the vaccine I had taken.

This year was, in fact, really bad. Excessive temperature changes, hay fever, low atmospheric pressure, and various other factors have brought me to somewhere nothing resembling a dawn in sight.

Numbers speak for themselves, the number of paid leave in this year reached a record high of 18 days. Since I have been working the same company for a long time, I started with 40 days of paid leave, including 20 days carried over from last year. Yet, 18 days are probably at higher-end among Japanese workers.

The first half of the year was particularly bad. By the end of June, I had taken a total of 12 days off. This was the same number of days as whole last year including the days of sick leave owing the cold or the flu whichever it was. I traveled from time to time in the first half of this year, but not every month.

I worked to re-establish my life. During the summer months, the situation was relatively easy, but then worsened again as winter set in. The result was the aforementioned numbers.

The root cause of all seems to be insomnia. Insomnia weakens the autonomic nervous system, and it leads to further insomnia, a vicious cycle. Until the last summer, I was able to fall asleep with Chinese herbal medicine, but the Chinese herbal medicine had become completely ineffective, and I routinely went to bed at around 3:00 am. Even though I live close to my work, I still have to wake up at 7:30 am.

I considered substituting the Chinese herbal medicine by alcohol consumption, although the quality of my sleep would be suffered. I had to drink quite a lot to fall asleep, and when I emptied a bottle of whiskey within the three continuous nights on weekdays, I came to seriously consider the risk of liver dysfunction and gout. I concluded that western medication was better than alcohol, and resumed taking sleep aids for the first time in several years.

At first, the medication was so effective that affected my waking time. On the first day of work in this year, I woke up just before noon. Even I consider myself as a third-class businessman, my face turned ghostly white.

I somewhat managed to adjust the dosage of medication, but the insomnia gradually worsened and the medication became less effective. It did not work unless I feel some drowsiness, and as a result, I began to fall asleep after 2:00 am. From that point on, it became even later, beyond 3:00 am. By the time of the summer solstice, I slept after watching the sunrise. It was bad indeed.

After that, thanks to a change in medication, I was able to fall asleep around 3:00 am during the summer and fall months. However, the condition worsened again as winter approached. It seemed that I was susceptible to temperature changes. In fact, it is definitely worse than at the beginning of the year. It is a long time to continue this kind of life for more than a year.

It is tempting to think that “there is no day that never finds a night,” but I wish to make a break before that happens.

After I stopped receiving New Year’s gift money, I have not been interested to celebrate New Year. Still, the year will end soon. On the 30th, drunken on the last business at a yakitori restaurant and a bar in Ginza, Tokyo; and spent New Year’s Eve quietly at a Chinese restaurant and a bar in Yokohama. This has been a regular pattern for the past few years. Time flies as I repeat the same thing over and over again.

I do not think I will get a New Year’s gift money at this age, but I will go out for drinks to bring this year to close. Then I will prepare for my next trip.

After all, I only can be a travel blogger again next year.